


was I stupid to love you? (was I reckless to help?)

by spiritsontheroof



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: First Kiss, Handcuffs, I love this story, Kidnapping, Love Confessions, M/M, Mac and his last minute plans, Mac would die for Jack, No one dies though, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:01:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24543502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiritsontheroof/pseuds/spiritsontheroof
Summary: This mission was supposed to be simple and smooth, in and out. And in the five minutes Mac had his back turned, it had all gone up in smoke. Mac lets out a shaking breath and runs his hands through his hair as he turns his coms on.“Riley?” Mac asks, voice trembling as he looks around frantically.“Hey, Mac, is the package secure? I can get you exfil if you –”“Jack’s gone,” Mac interjects. “Someone took him.”
Relationships: Jack Dalton/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 106





	was I stupid to love you? (was I reckless to help?)

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys, new fic for y'all!  
> thank you to @mannon_blackbeak for letting me whine and complain my way through writing this, and for always catching my horrible wording.  
> prompt is from @whumpster-dumpster on tumblr "I can’t even begin to explain what I’d do for you. How far I’d go. How many lines I’d cross without a second thought, if you asked me to.”  
> title is no time to die by billie eilish

Mac should have known that this op was going far too well. No bumps in the road, smooth sailing, easiest mission he and Jack had been on in a long time. It should have clued Mac in that something wasn’t right. But Mac didn’t think twice about it until they showed up at the drop location for a nuclear weapon transaction and the seller never showed. The place was abandoned, hadn’t been touched in years, and something just wasn’t sitting right with Mac. 

“Maybe we got made and they called off the deal,” Jack suggests after watching Mac pace around for the last fifteen minutes. 

Mac shakes his head. “We didn’t get made. Something’s wrong.” He says and walks over to the far corner of the empty warehouse. He’s searched every nook, cranny, and corner for a bomb or a camera or _something_ to tell him why he has this uneasy feeling in his stomach. 

“I don’t see anything here,” Mac huffs and stands up only to be met with silence. He turns around and finds he’s alone. “Jack?” he calls, his voice bouncing off the walls. No response. 

Mac swallows down his rising panic and wanders towards the doors, looking in the piles of wood pallets and rusted equipment and old boxes for any sign of Jack. Mac knows now, for sure, that something is wrong. Jack would never leave Mac exposed like this without someone to watch his back. 

In the dirt outside the warehouse, Mac sees tire treads leading away from the warehouse and their rental car is missing. Mac knows now that Jack is gone, someone took him, and Mac is resisting the urge to freak out. 

This mission was supposed to be simple and smooth, in and out. And in the five minutes Mac had his back turned, it had all gone up in smoke. Mac lets out a shaking breath and runs his hands through his hair as he turns his coms on. 

“Riley?” Mac asks, voice trembling as he looks around frantically. 

“Hey, Mac, is the package secure? I can get you exfil if you –” 

“Jack’s gone,” Mac interjects. “Someone took him.”

Riley goes silent and Mac can hear her fingers clicking across the keyboard of her laptop. “His cell signal says he’s right there, Mac.” 

On cue, Mac hears a muffled ringing coming from the spot where the car had been parked. Mac picks it up and shakes the dirt off before answering the call. “Who’s this?” Mac demands. 

“What a rude way to answer the phone, MacGyver,” says a voice that sends a chill down Mac’s spine. 

“Murdoc,” Mac says. “Where’s Jack?”

“With me. He’s fine.” Murdoc says offhandedly, brushing Mac’s concern off. “I’ll be keeping him for a while.”

“Where are you taking him?” Mac asks, dangerously close to losing his temper. Murdoc ignites a rage that Mac didn’t know he was capable of feeling and now he’s going to hurt the most important person in Mac’s life. But Murdoc thrives on making Mac lose his head, and Mac refuses to give a serial killer the satisfaction of 

Murdoc laughs. “Not so fast, Angus. I haven’t even gotten to have my fun yet.” 

Mac doesn’t like the sound of that. He knows what Murdoc’s idea of fun is and the thought of him hurting Jack makes Mac’s stomach turn. “What do you want, Murdoc?”

The line is silent for a while and Mac thinks Murdoc has hung up, but then he says, “Same thing I’ve always wanted. To kill you.” He says, tone sickeningly sweet. 

“Fine. Let Jack go.” Mac agrees without a second thought despite Riley yelling in his ear not to do anything stupid. 

“And in return, I get you?” Murdoc asks. 

“You get me,” Mac breathes, heart pounding in his chest, hoping Murdoc agrees. 

“Mac, no! Don’t –” Jack yells, voice sounding distant before Mac hears a sickening crack and Jack groaning. 

“Fine. I’ll drop off your guard dog. I’ll text you coordinates, come alone,” Murdoc demands and then the line goes silent. 

Mac sighs in relief and runs his fingers through his hair before ripping the comms out of his ear and crushing it with his boot, silencing Riley’s screams in his ears. 

–

Mac receives coordinates and a time from Murdoc, and he writes it down before turning off his phone. He finds a car to steal, thanks car manufacturers for built in GPS, and tries to ignore the way his palms sweat as he drives to certain death. 

Mac cannot believe himself. He cannot believe he’s so in love that instead of just going back to LA and working with the team to find Jack, he put himself on the trading block. And the funny thing is, Jack has training on how to withstand torture and on what to do if captured. He’s more than capable of staying alive long enough for Mac to find him. And even though Mac knows that, the thought of leaving Jack alone with Murdoc makes Mac feel like he might throw up. 

Mac’s an idiot, and he knows that. An idiot who is in love with his best friend, and he’s going to die before he gets a chance to do anything about it. 

If Mac believed in a higher power, he’d swear whoever it was is actively conspiring against him. 

Right on time, the previously stolen rental car pulls up across from Mac’s stolen car. Murdoc steps out of the driver’s side and waggles his fingers at Mac like the smug son of a bitch he is. Mac takes a deep breath and steps out of the car, fingers clenched into fists. 

“Lovely to see you again, MacGyver.” 

“I’m not going anywhere with you until you show me Jack’s okay,” Mac declares, like Murdoc gives a damn about Mac’s terms and conditions. 

Murdoc rolls his eyes and goes to open the back door of the SUV, dragging Jack out and tossing him to the ground. Jack pushes himself into a standing position and Mac can see that Jack’s face is bruised, and there’s some blood staining the front of his shirt, but he looks okay and Mac feels like he can breathe again. 

Murdoc rips the tape from Jack’s mouth and Jack lunges at him. 

“You son of a bitch. Don’t touch him, I swear it, I’ll kill you.” Jack yells, fighting the cuffs that Murdoc has locked around Jack’s wrists.

Murdoc opens his mouth to say something destined to piss Jack off, but Mac interjects before Murdoc can speak. 

“Hey, Jack, calm down. I’m gonna be fine, alright?” Mac assures him, taking a step towards Jack and looking to Murdoc for approval. Murdoc nods and Mac goes to stand in front of him. “Listen, my phone is in the car. Call Matty, get exfil coordinates and go back to LA. I’m gonna be fine, okay?” 

“And by ‘fine’, he means ‘dead’,” Murdoc smirks and Jack tries to get by Mac, like he could do a ton of damage with his hands behind his back. Mac grabs him by the arm from behind just before Jack gets out of reach. 

Jack fights Mac’s grip. “You better not touch him or I promise, I will hunt you down and I will make you regret the day you were ever born.” He growls. 

Mac pulls him back and then makes himself a barrier. He locks eyes with Jack before he starts backing away. “Hey, I’m gonna get loose, alright, and you’ll be right behind. It’s all okay,” Mac says, cutting his eyes towards Jack’s hands and waiting for realization to dawn across Jack’s face. 

Jack nods in realization after a second. “Alright, Mac.” He agrees and slumps against Mac’s car as Mac turns his back, facing Murdoc. 

“I’ve never seen someone so willing to die. It’s refreshing.” Murdoc says, cocking his head to the side with a pleased sort of smile. 

Mac shrugs and walks past him, going to stand at the passenger side of the car. “You know me, Murdoc. I’m always full of surprises.” 

Murdoc chuckles and just as he reaches for the door handle, Jack pulls his hands free from the cuffs. Murdoc turns around to be met with a fist to his face, knocking him backwards to the ground. Jack goes down with him, landing another blow on Murdoc’s jaw, then his nose, then a quick one to his ribs. 

With Murdoc adequately restrained, Jack grabs the pistol from Murdoc’s hip and points it, cocking it as he stands up. “Don’t move,” he instructs as Mac grabs the cuffs from the ground. He goes and pulls Murdoc to his feet roughly before locking his hands in place. 

Murdoc looks surprised, like he wasn’t expecting Mac to get away this time. That’s his mistake. Mac is not to be underestimated. 

“Come on, Murdoc. Did you really think I’d go willingly?” Mac says as Jack shoves Murdoc against the vehicle, searching him for more weapons. “I told you I was full of surprises.” He remarks with a smirk.

Murdoc grimaces at him. “Don’t be smug, Angus. It’s unbecoming.” He bites before turning his head and spitting blood into the dirt. 

Mac ignores him and pulls out his phone to call Matty. 

“What the hell is the matter with you?” Matty yells as soon as she picks up the phone.

Mac winces and pulls the phone away from his ear. “I’m sorry, Matty. I was only doing what I thought was best.” He tries to reason, but it doesn’t help his case. 

“What you thought was best?” Matty yells. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know self-sacrificing was the best option. My bad.” She bites, venom laced in her tone.

Mac sighs and looks to Jack for help, but Jack is giving him a look that tells Mac he’s in for a lecture from Jack, too. 

Mac is going to need a drink.

“It was stupid. You’re right. I panicked. And I will grovel and apologize when I get home, but I need exfil coordinates.” Mac concedes, pinching the bridge of his nose. 

Matty sends him coordinates and then the line clicks dead, and Mac knows he’s going to get absolutely eaten alive by her when he gets back to the Phoenix. For now, though, he and Jack load Murdoc into the car, because the sooner they get him to a CIA blacksite, the better. 

When Jack goes to get in the driver’s seat, Mac stops him. “You could have a concussion. You’re not driving.”

“I’m fine, Mac.” Jack says shortly, his impatience evident in the way he’s eyeing Mac. 

Mac rolls his eyes. “Can we not argue? Just let me drive.” He says and opens the door to get in. He closes the door and Jack glares at him through the tinted window, but only for a second before going around to the passenger side. 

Mac drives off, heading west for their exfil location. Murdoc is glaring a hole into the back of Mac’s head and Jack is staring at the windshield like it personally offended him. 

This is going to be a fun trip. 

–

  
  


Twenty-some miles from their coordinates, after a solid hour of tense stillness, Jack _finally_ breaks the silence. 

“I cannot believe you were going to go with this asshole willingly,” Jack chuckles humorlessly, looking at Mac with something undecipherable. 

Mac looks over at him for a second before turning his eyes back to the road. “Listen, Jack, I –”

“Yeah, you panicked. You were doing what you thought was best. I heard you earlier.” Jack interjects with a harsh tone that Mac isn’t used to having directed at him. 

Mac sighs. “I wasn’t thinking, okay? I thought he was going to hurt you and I didn’t know what else to do.” 

Jack doesn’t say anything, just resumes his stoic silence. 

Mac spends the rest of the drive resisting the urge to jump out of a moving vehicle.

–

At exfil, Murdoc is put into the hands of CIA agents and Mac is glad to be rid of him. The guy makes his skin crawl, always has, with the way he looks at Mac like a predator looking at his prey. 

On the plane, Jack doesn’t speak to him. 

It’s a four hour flight. 

Mac wants to scream. 

Not that Mac wants a thank you, but you would think Jack would be a little more grateful about Mac being so willing to take his place. Instead, Mac is getting the most painful silent treatment _ever_ and he is definitely going to get yelled at at some point. Whatever. He guesses he kind of deserves it. Because if Mac’s honest, it was an incredibly stupid plan. 

Matty sends them home with promise for a _long_ debrief tomorrow morning and a sharp glare in Mac’s direction. 

“Eight AM _sharp_ , Blondie.” Matty says firmly, eyes squinted at Mac.

Mac nods, “Yes, ma’am,” and then runs from the war room before she can change her mind about letting him leave. 

–

The rest of the team goes out for drinks, but Mac goes home. He’s too tired, too emotionally drained, Jack still isn’t speaking to him, and Mac is perfectly capable of getting drunk all by himself. 

He stops at the store and buys a six pack, then he goes home and turns off his phone so Bozer can’t send him a million texts asking him to come to the bar. 

Mac knows _why_ Jack is angry with him. Jack hates when Mac does unnecessarily dangerous things, and when Mac risks his own life when there are other options. But that doesn’t mean Mac can’t be upset about it. He knows Jack is expecting an explanation, probably even an apology, but the problem with that is that Mac isn’t sorry for what he did. He’d do it a hundred times over. 

Because he’s stupid and he’s reckless and he’s hopeless. 

Mac watches reruns of Frasier and ignores the itch to turn his phone on and call Jack as he mopes his way through beer after beer.

Mac gets three beers in before someone comes knocking on his door. 

He groans as he gets off the couch, ready to tell Bozer to leave him alone. He opens the door and sighs, “Listen, Bozer, just–” 

“What the hell is wrong with you, huh?” Jack interjects, tone laden with genuine anger. He pushes by Mac into the house, and Mac knows this isn’t going to be pleasant. 

Mac closes the door and slowly turns to face Jack, hands tucked into the pockets of his sweat jacket. “Probably be easier to tell you what isn’t wrong with me,” he chuckles. 

“Mac, I am so not in the mood.” Jack says, face devoid of a smile. “What were you thinking earlier?”

Mac shrinks into himself and shrugs, eyes glued to a scuff on the floor. “I told you. I panicked. I was trying to keep you safe.” He says, looking up from the floor. 

Jack flares his nostrils and shakes his head. “I don’t need you to keep me safe. That’s not your job!” He shouts, taking a step towards Mac. 

Jack cannot be fucking serious right now. He did _not_ just look at Mac and say it wasn’t his job to keep Jack safe. 

Mac is furious now, face blood red with anger. “Are you kidding me?” He demands, shoving Jack backwards. “It is my job. You’re the most important person in the world and it is _absolutely_ my job to keep you safe.”

“No, Mac. I watch your back.” Jack says slowly, like he’s explaining it to a child. “You do not put yourself up as a goddamn bargaining chip.” 

“I’d do it again,” Mac blurts, words like gasoline on an already out of control fire. “I’d do it a thousand more times. I was not going to let him kill you to get to me.” 

Jack grits his teeth. “I swear, Mac, you –”

“Shut up,” Mac says, holding a hand up to stop Jack. “You do not get to tell me that I don’t get to save you. It’s not up to you. That isn’t how this works. And I don’t care how mad it makes you, I will do anything I have to if it means you’ll be safe.” 

Jack takes a deep breath and studies Mac’s face, silence heavy between them, Jack’s gaze making Mac feel exposed. 

After a minute, Jack turns and walks away, shaking his head and mumbling something about Mac that isn’t quite understandable. 

Mac follows him out onto the deck. He searches for words as Jack stares out at the skyline, shoulders set in a tense line. 

“Jack,” Mac says in a tone that’s far too intimate, exposes everything he’s feeling, but at this point, Mac doesn’t care. He was going to die for Jack today, and if that doesn’t leave a man’s heart exposed, Mac doesn’t know what does. “I can’t even begin to explain what I’d do for you. How far I’d go. How many lines I’d cross without a second thought, if you asked me to.” 

Mac can’t believe he just said that. He can’t believe those are the words he came up with. But it’s too late to take it all back now, and he wishes Jack would say something because Mac is starting to panic. 

He gives it a few more minutes and when the silence starts to feel like it’s crushing Mac, he says, “It’s been, uh, a while since you said anything and I’m gonna need you to say _something_ , right now, please.”

Jack turns around and Mac can see the gears turning as Jack tries to come up with something to say. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to that, Mac.” He sighs, running his hands through his hair. 

“I know what you would do for me. I know you’d do anything I asked, anything it took to keep me safe, and that scares the hell out of me.” Jack admits, walking across the deck to stand in front of Mac. “I’ve never had someone who is so willing to risk so much just for me.”

Mac swallows around the know that has formed in his throat. “I’d risk everything for you,” he says, voice barely above a whisper. He and Jack are nearly touching, so close Mac can feel Jack’s breath against his lips. 

Jack nods and his tongue darts out over his lips, and Mac is hyper aware of how easy it would be to kiss Jack right now. It’s making it hard for Mac to focus, and he’s having to force himself not to look at Jack’s mouth and look into his deep, whiskey eyes, and holy hell, Mac’s feeling a little warm. 

Jack moves an inch closer and now they’re touching, chest to chest, Jack’s hands are on Mac’s hips and before Mac can even form a coherent thought, Jack is kissing him. 

_Jack is kissing him._

Mac is frozen until Jack moves to pull away, and Mac grabs him by the collar of his jacket and tugs him back in. He kisses Jack, hard, hands sliding up Jack’s chest until his arms are locked around Jack’s neck. Jack’s hands slide up Mac’s back and under his shirt, hands cool against Mac’s overheated skin.

Mac can feel all the years of pent up feelings spilling out between them, and he’s breathless with it when Jack lets him go. 

“I didn’t know what to say. Hope that I made my point.” Jack rasps, smile soft on his lips as he leans his forehead against Mac’s. 

Mac chuckles and nods. “Yeah. I heard you loud and clear.” He says with a relieved sigh, the weight of his feelings lifted from his chest. 

There’s still things left to talk about, boundaries to set, Mac has no clue what they’re going to do about work. But he doesn’t care, not when Jack is looking at Mac like he hung the moon. It’s not perfect, but when Jack leans in and kisses him, mumbling an ‘I love you’ against Mac’s lips, Mac feels like it’s pretty damn close. 


End file.
